Thank Jim! I really appreciate it man. I had a good time writing it. It evolved from the story I thought it would be to the one it ended up being - I’m really pleased with the one I ended up with.
Perfect last line! Really funny and sharp. I really enjoyed the story!
I really like the way the story centers on the anxiety of the email from the adjuster, and then the twist of Callista deciding she can get away with murder a second time. In my Substack chat, you mentioned you'd like to have some feedback on your story, so here's mine: I wonder if there's a way to make her motivation for considering murdering Dennis a little clearer? It seems she murdered her husband to be with Dennis, but now she wants to murder Dennis; I love the irony of that, and I love that the email has made her realize that it would be a disaster for Dennis to reveal her/their role in her husband's death. But doesn't the email also prove that she has no reason to think Dennis would slip up, since she realizes he hasn't actually slipped up after all? I wonder if there's a way to make it a little more plausible that Dennis is a weak link? The only proof we get of his fallibility is "she had no illusions about his intelligence." I hope this feedback helps, but in any case, I think it's a great story!
Thanks so much Parker! I’m so glad you liked it. It’s been one of my favorites that I have written. And yes that’s a great idea. I really enjoyed the idea of us learning about her murderous designs in the email she writes - the idea of that “reveal” was really fun for me. That said, you make an excellent point. Strengthening Dennis’ liability as her partner - some greater evidence of a mistake he has made that she fears will undo her - would make her motivation clearer. Great point. Also it plays into the theme of their layered relationship: paramours, secret lovers, co-conspirators and spouses. I adored exploring all those layers and the treachery within and without. Making a tipping point for her (even an as yet uncovered one) would strengthen the arc. Thanks so much for taking the time to read it and to make a thoughtful suggestion. I truly appreciate it!
That was super fun! Love the expectation of a twist coming, and then it is not the twist you expect, but a different one entirely. Also, what a commentary on how we catastrophize some event that hasn't even happened.
Thanks Emma! I love a twist and this one felt very fun. Also the change in sympathies was fun to play with. I liked building the suspense and then loosening it and, while the reader was dealing with that, pulling them in another direction. Thanks for reading it!
Brilliant! Loved this story.
Thank you so much! It’s delightfully nasty I thought. It was fun to write.
Perfect. That was perfect Jack. Honestly, it was terrific in every way. - Jim
Thank Jim! I really appreciate it man. I had a good time writing it. It evolved from the story I thought it would be to the one it ended up being - I’m really pleased with the one I ended up with.
Yes, when a piece really clicks, it's an almost audible sound. Great job on this one. - Jim
I had fun reading it! You have a great, distinctive voice.
Perfect last line! Really funny and sharp. I really enjoyed the story!
I really like the way the story centers on the anxiety of the email from the adjuster, and then the twist of Callista deciding she can get away with murder a second time. In my Substack chat, you mentioned you'd like to have some feedback on your story, so here's mine: I wonder if there's a way to make her motivation for considering murdering Dennis a little clearer? It seems she murdered her husband to be with Dennis, but now she wants to murder Dennis; I love the irony of that, and I love that the email has made her realize that it would be a disaster for Dennis to reveal her/their role in her husband's death. But doesn't the email also prove that she has no reason to think Dennis would slip up, since she realizes he hasn't actually slipped up after all? I wonder if there's a way to make it a little more plausible that Dennis is a weak link? The only proof we get of his fallibility is "she had no illusions about his intelligence." I hope this feedback helps, but in any case, I think it's a great story!
Thanks so much Parker! I’m so glad you liked it. It’s been one of my favorites that I have written. And yes that’s a great idea. I really enjoyed the idea of us learning about her murderous designs in the email she writes - the idea of that “reveal” was really fun for me. That said, you make an excellent point. Strengthening Dennis’ liability as her partner - some greater evidence of a mistake he has made that she fears will undo her - would make her motivation clearer. Great point. Also it plays into the theme of their layered relationship: paramours, secret lovers, co-conspirators and spouses. I adored exploring all those layers and the treachery within and without. Making a tipping point for her (even an as yet uncovered one) would strengthen the arc. Thanks so much for taking the time to read it and to make a thoughtful suggestion. I truly appreciate it!
That was super fun! Love the expectation of a twist coming, and then it is not the twist you expect, but a different one entirely. Also, what a commentary on how we catastrophize some event that hasn't even happened.
Thanks Emma! I love a twist and this one felt very fun. Also the change in sympathies was fun to play with. I liked building the suspense and then loosening it and, while the reader was dealing with that, pulling them in another direction. Thanks for reading it!